the things i love
Too many LDS children have been taught that our bodies and sex are “dirty”, “evil”, “shameful”, and that to even think about sex or to have sexual feelings is sinful. I know that I saw posters like the one above often. I was scared to death to even look at a boy and while having “those kind” of thoughts, even though I didn’t really understand what “those” kinds of thoughts were.
We were taught never to stray anywhere near immorality, but we were not really taught why. Modesty and purity were the only goal. Your private parts were dirty and never ever to be shown. Sex was bad, bad, bad. Run far far fast fast in the opposite direction if anyone even flirts with you in that way!
Heaven forbid that LDS teachers should discuss anything about our maturing bodies, what is happening inside us, what we are feeling, and why sex might be a good thing, not just for procreation.
How much of the opposite is true. We should know that all that we have, including our bodies, our hormones and sex itself, has been given to us by a loving and all-knowing God, They can never be evil of themselves. It is what we choose to do with these gifts, under God’s laws, that matters.
How much more kind and effective is the message that our own bodies and those of our future spouses are truly beautiful temples of God that we should value, honor, and cherish above all other earthly things. When we honor the bodily temples that God has given us, we thus honor God himself. We also honor ourselves and our future eternal mates.
How much better is it too, to prepare our children for their future relationships, so they will not be surprised by unexpected feelings and they will be more able to make wise choices. We should teach them about their bodies, what to expect as they grow and mature, what to expect as they naturally become attracted to each other, and even what to expect during sex.
We already teach our children that eating right, exercising, participating in valuable activities and educating our brains help to fortify us and is a good choice. We teach them the detailed scientific principles of how healthy food and daily activity makes their bodies strong. We don’t discourage the good things that make their bodies better.
We can also teach our children the real reasons why purity and chastity helps keep them strong, not just spiritually, but physically and emotionally.
We can also teach our children that the the actions that lead up to sex, that lovemaking, that the intense feelings it creates, and that the bond it builds, are all very special gifts from our Father in Heaven.
We can teach our children that sex is a holy ordinance for a married couple and truly part of the ordinance of eternal marriage.
That the reason God teaches us not to have sex outside of marriage is not just “because He said so”, but because He knows how much pain it can cause us.
Our Father in Heaven has given us our Free Agency. This allows us to choose to twist and warp His beautiful gift of physical intimacy in so many ugly, wrong and harmful ways:
I believe that these distortions of God’s beautiful gift cause the greatest amount of emotional and spiritual pain that humans can experience. These are the true reasons we must teach our children to protect themselves. We must not be afraid to teach our children the truth of this, as soon as they are old enough to understand, in words that are clear and plain.
We must teach our children how beautiful and holy God’s gift of sexual intimacy is. We must not be afraid to teach the specifics and minutiae they will need for a healthy intimate life with their future spouses. We must also teach the real truths of why to preserve and protect their own purity and that of their friends and future eternal mates.
Thank you for reading!
DISCLAIMER: The thoughts, opinions and beliefs expressed in this post are solely my own, what I call “the Gospel according to April”. They do not necessarily reflect any specific doctrines taught by or belonging to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormons).